By Stephen Smoot
It’s become tradition to see New Years’ Day as the time to recreate or to renew one’s vision for life, to resolve to be different, be better, or be fulfilled.
Plainly said, many continue to believe in the power of a resolution kept.
With the exception of women, of course, all others should resolve to be a man in this and the coming years.
One can be born male, but the title of “man” must be earned. Mere ownership and use of an XY chromosome does not automatically bequeath the status. Those who would be men must put in the work.
The first step on the path runs through Socrates, the soldier turned philosopher and moral teacher. His quest for the nature of wisdom led him to a simple phrase, “Know thyself.” This, of course, requires both personal honesty and the candor of those closest.
Marcus Tullius Cicero, the Roman statesman, affirmed the Roman Republic’s emphasis on the quality of virtue in a man. He identified four cardinal virtues: wisdom, courage, justice, and moderation. He built on the notion of “know thyself,” urging men to follow their natures in personal evolution and growth, should those be for the good.
Not a Roman, but a man who grew up under that Empire’s culture, Saint Paul wrote to the Corinthians “when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
In America, George Washington stands as the primary example of virtue and honor. He repeatedly spoke of exertion, work, and energy being a quality of men engaged in great projects or movements. For him, total dedication was an act of courage. It exposes one to great risk and the possibility of great reward, at least the moral type, and does not allow honorable retreat from commitment.
Our civilization has reached a point of turning. A great absconding from responsibility has started. Jobs go unfilled, or are occupied by uncaring living automatons who do as little as possible. Males create children, then abandon them and their mothers to their fates. Leadership has degenerated into endless races to escape blame.
And males have lost their way, all too many turning away from faith, hope, and charity, towards soulless lifestyles that emphasize “feeling good” but will always fail to create happiness. They cling to childish things, believing these will make them seem young instead of foolish. The reign of discipline and its useful tool, shame, have been overthrown and seemingly everyone merely does what is right in their own eyes – or does nothing at all.
Being a man requires more strength, fortitude, and courage than simply existing as a male. It takes respect for oneself and others. It requires taking care of ones’ own needs and sometimes those who depend on him. Men inspire confidence in others, not because they lack fear or anxiety, but because they first learned from, and second tamed, each one.
It is also the province of a man to fight a battle that seems unwinnable, to pull a burden that seems too heavy, to keep faith in a God that may never reveal Himself overtly, and to take care of responsibilities thrust upon him, rather than those he chose. He must stay confident, but retain enough humility to admit wrong and to listen to others when necessary.
If the game of life does not favor him, a man does not retire to the sidelines and pout like Achilles at Troy. He must remain in the ring and fight through the challenges posed because often more than his own fate is at stake.
A man never feels entitled, except to that which he himself has created or earned.
Unfortunately, the 21st century has worked to purge the best notions of men and manhood, making them seem ugly, frightening, or ridiculous. The consequences of this are seen in the ever expanding problems of society that have run hand in hand with this development. Society relies increasingly on a dwindling number of men to carry the weight often created by those who are mere males.
This commentary should not be interpreted as an undermining of women, their wisdom and honor, as well as their needed and vital role in the world and society. That remains a story for another day.
Perhaps it is another Roman who best stated the essence of what being a man means. Marcus Aurelius, the greatest of Emperors and a Stoic philosopher, implored “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”