By Stephen Smoot
“And there went a man of the House of Levi, and took to wife a daughter of Levi”
“And the woman conceived, and bare a son: and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she his him three months”
“And when she could no longer hide him, she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the river’s brink.”
“And the daughter of Pharaoh came down to wash herself at the river . . . and when she saw the ark . . . she sent her maid to fetch it . . . and she had compassion on him, and said, This is one of the Hebrews’ children.”
“And the child grew, and she brought him unto Pharaoh’s daughter, and he became her son. And she called his name Moses: and she said, Because I drew him out of the water.”
The second chapter of Exodus reveals the humble beginning of the Great Lawgiver whose bust reigns over the United States House of Representatives and whose legacy reigns over law around the world.
And that humble beginning was one of the early historical examples of a foster parent and child.
Foster care for children in difficult situations and conditions predates by 140 years the independence of the United States. The English Poor Law of 1562 allowed for indigent children to be taken from the notorious “poorhouses” and placed as laborers in homes that would accept them. The first example of this taking place in America was in Virginia with seven year old Benjamin Eaton in 1636.
Since then, the question of how to care for children in challenging circumstances has come up against a number of issues, especially resources available. West Virginia currently faces what many have called a crisis in providing positive and beneficial foster care experiences that give children a place where they can feel safe and thrive.
According to KVC West Virginia, on Feb 28 of this year, 5,897 youth were in foster care. Just under 210 of those come from Harrison County. Kanawha has by far the most placements with 1,259. Cabell, Wayne, and Berkely form a second “tier” with each having around 300 in placement.
Meanwhile, some of the more sparsely populated counties, such as Pendleton, Pocahontas, and Monroe, have none in foster care currently.
The foster care system in recent years has come under more and more strain in the Mountain State. From a federal judge bizarrely using the problem as a political cudgel to get citizens to vote for the political party that his family was aligned with for generations to others to those who endured the system’s failure personally, the universal judgment is that a badly functioning system needs to change.
West Virginia, however, is far from the only state facing trouble in its foster care system. Nearly half of all foster homes nationally that open their doors to children do not last a year before closing their doors again.
And blasting the State only goes so far. Most other states have the same problems, many far worse. The conditions that contributed to this came less from intentional neglect and much more from a society slowly dissolving as institutions such as family, church, and school increasingly struggle with the impacts of what ails them.
Unprecedented problems, both in specific changes and also the scope of those changes, have overwhelmed social service organizations everywhere.
JRI, a Massachusetts-based service agency, describes the issue of burnout among foster families. An article covering the subject on its website states that “Fostering is hard. There’s no gentle way to put it. It impacts every facet of a fostering family’s life, from leisure time to work schedules, traditions and routines to time with your partner.”
Foster parents are usually heroes who serve as front line volunteers helping to battle almost all of the nation’s social welfare issues. Those issues disrupt families and leave children alienated. Foster families work to help these children to put their lives back together after those children escape some of the most difficult situations imaginable.
In some cases, children challenged by extreme experiences cannot function in an otherwise healthy family environment and get removed for the safety and well-being of others.
Drug and alcohol abuse, physical and sexual abuse, the decline of the traditional family, malevolent influences from adults in person or online, and situations almost unimaginable in a conventional life, an engaged foster family hears about all of this trauma.
They also have to be there to help children to work through these issues, even if the children prove combative, resistant, or show disruptive behaviors at home and/or school.
The kind of person that shows the courage to step up and take on this responsibility is also all too often the resilient and self-confident type that hesitates to ask for help. According to JRI, “many folks are embarrassed to acknowledge burnout. It feels like failure, especially when children are involved. People think ‘I’m an adult. I’m supposed to be in control, more evolved, stable. I’m not supposed to need help.’”
Returning to the metaphor of battling on the front lines, not every combat soldier is an Alvin York or an Audie Murphy. Those battling fierce odds band together, support each other, and have each other’s backs in times where the crisis gets worse than normal.
JRI suggests that those working toward becoming a foster family should put together their support team before taking on the responsibility. An Army never just sends men into battle and hope for the best. It has innumerable supports to help when things go wrong, or to make sure positive developments get built upon.
The advice goes on with JRI imploring those entering the field, essentially, to follow the wisdom of Socrates and “know thyself.” Before working with children who have experienced trauma, take a hard and honest look at the trauma experienced in one’s one life. In what ways has it created dangerous trigger points? How does a foster caregiver translate a personal traumatic experience into one therapeutic for the child?
JRI also urges creating a structure as a foster family that provides regular breaks, respite periods, and communication with others who understand the issues involved. Those who do not want the full-time commitment of fostering can volunteer to provide respite care for a few hours or a couple of days so that the primary caregiving family can recharge before burning out.
Winston Churchill said of the pilots who took to the skies to defend Britain during the Blitz that “never in the course of human history have so many owed so much to so few.” The “few” pilots that stood up against fearsome odds have earned their place in history as saviors of a nation.
“The few” also applies to foster families. As JRI states, “the foster care crisis is not just a crisis of a lack of homes, but a loss of homes.”
Perhaps if foster families were as regularly celebrated for their courage and hard work, also doing what they can to save their communities, states, and to keep a large part of the younger generation from being lost in their own travails, more might join their ranks.
Until then, the State has a mammoth challenge on its hands as it tries to expand the numbers of “the few” to come closer to the many.
