By Jim Hunt for the News and Journal
As January morphs into February, we enter a season I like to call “Mud Month”. It hasn’t always
been this way and many years ago, we would be anticipating several more months of wintery
weather with fluffy white snow covering the ground till the April flowers started to break
through the gardens. I am not sure if this is global warming or just a phase, but February has all
the hallmarks of a season created by the car wash industry.
I have driven white vehicles for the last twenty-five years and for most of the year, I can go
several weeks without a wash, and it still looks clean. Unfortunately, during Mud Month, my car
has a brown stain along the sides and screams out to be washed. I gave in to the temptation
and ran it through the car wash and just as I was turning onto my street, I hit a huge pothole
and brown streaks appeared before I hit the garage door opener.
When they opened the new car washes that allow you to wash your car as many times as you
need, I wondered how they were going to stay in business. I now realize that they are on to
something. I can remember when the only car washes were the ones where you fed the
quarters and had to use the wand to clean your car. You would spray around the tires and the
lower half of the car to get the salt and grime off the car. I remember the time that a lady had
laid the wand on the ground and then put in the quarters. The wand suddenly sprang to life and
took on a life of its own. It beat the side of the car for over three minutes until the attendant
wrestled it to the ground.
For most of my life, I did not have a garage and my car would stay parked in the driveway or the
street in front of my house. I dreamed of the day when I would have my own garage and not
have to brush snow off the car or chip away at the ice on the windshield. When we built our
house a few years ago, we insisted on building an extra-large garage, enough for both cars,
lawnmowers, rakes, and garbage cans. The only flaw in that logic was the dirt and dust that
flowed off the car when the snow melted and left a minefield of slush on the floor.
I think the only practical thing to do is cancel the month of February and just extend January for
about fifteen days and then start the month of March. This has the added benefit of avoiding
the made-up holiday of Valentine’s Day and saving enough money for a full shine and detail on
the old jalopy. I doubt many people would notice, since February barely has enough days in it to
be considered a real month. And, for basketball fans, it would give a few extra weeks for March
Madness since it seems like every few years, they add another twenty teams to the tourney.
If you haven’t figured out by now, I’m not a big fan of February. When I complained to my wife,
she said I should buy a brown car. I still have spoken to her! Have a great month and I might see you at the car wash!